Wishy washy

Recently, I haven't been able to shake this wishy-washy feeling.  The feeling that I am just floating around in life, that I have no definite direction, and that I don't know what is coming next.  Don't get me wrong...I have the best husband in the world that is going through this difficult transition period right along with me, but it is still a very lonely feeling not to know what your goal/purpose in life is. 

On October 20th, we will be starting a new phase in our lives.  This is the day that we will be leaving Alaska and moving back to....somewhere.....and see, that's the scary part.  Not knowing where we'll be in a little over a month.  It's not that we haven't been trying to pinpoint a specific location...it's just that we haven't been able to secure a job. Neither of us.  Nothing.  One of us graduated cum laude from a private 4-year college, and the other has devoted 5 years of his life to serving his country.  But no one seems to want to employ us. If someone could explain this to me, I would be greatly appreciative...

Ugh.  I just don't know how we are going to make it if neither of us gets a job soon....I mean right now, both of us work basically full time...and we are able to afford everything we need. That may not be the case in a little over a month. I don't know how well I am going to handle that reality.  I don't want to be the married couple that lives with their parents. That's not me. And the question of school---I do want to go to graduate school, and I know a lot of people want me to go to graduate school, not that the latter should matter, but it does. I just still don't really know what I want to do for a living, or how to get there once I figure out what that is.  My undergraduate education, I now feel, consisted of people consistently feeding me lies and feeding my confidence...saying "Oh, you can be what ever you want to be!", or "You'll have a bachelor's degree. You'll have no problem getting a job after college."  Yeah, right.

The future is one huge question. Who, what, when, where, why, how.....they all remain open to be answered. I hope I get a few answers soon.

I started my blog today.

I saw a bunch of other people had started blogs...so I figured, why not follow the trend and make one of my own?! This blog will consist of stories, thoughts, hopes, dreams, rants, raves, and whatever else I deem appropriate to share with the world. :p Enjoy.